Today I stepped in dog shit.
Naturally, when I stepped in dog shit, I was wearing my favorite shoes.
But you know what they say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Specifically, you should make Mike’s Hard Lemonade.
Or really, you can make any kind of lemonade you want, but I advise putting alcohol in your lemonade, because I don’t know about you, but when life gives me lemons, it makes me want to drink.
It’s a stupid expression, though, because quite frankly, lemons are not a burden.
You can cook with lemons, you can clean with lemons, and you can squirt lemons in the eye of someone you hate.
In fact, I really wish life would give me lemons once in a while.
But today, life did not give me lemons.
Today, life gave me dog shit.
You cannot cook with dog shit.
You cannot clean with dog shit.
Dog shit also does not lend itself to squirting someone in the eye.
You cannot mix dog shit with alcohol and expect it to taste good.
Eventually, I finished my hike and hosed off my shoe and went inside to get a drink.
After a long hike, I really wanted some refreshing lemonade.
But we did not have lemons.
Apparently, life could not spare me one fucking lemon.
So I drank some tap water.
Hopefully tomorrow, life will give me a lemon, instead of dog shit.
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