My friend Mia texted me, “where did you hide the weed?”
I texted Mia back, saying, “I hid the weed in my underwear drawer.”
My phone buzzed and I opened the text message, expecting it to be a reply from Mia.
It was not a reply from Mia.
It was a reply from Mom.
Apparently, I had selected the wrong name from my contacts list.
And in doing so, I sent my mom a text that said, “I hid the weed in my underwear drawer.”
Shit.
Mom was really angry- so angry, in fact, that I suggested she smoke some of my weed to calm down.
This was a very generous offer of me, I think.
But Mom did not appreciate my generosity- if anything, it made her angrier.
Mom called me. I reluctantly picked up.
“What do you mean, you hid weed in your underwear drawer?”
I think that’s pretty self-explanatory, Mom.
“Are you hiding weed in your underwear drawer?” she demanded.
“No, Mom, of course not,” I said soothingly.
“Then why did you send me that text a minute ago?”
“That was supposed to go to my friend,” I explained.
“Then why did you tell your friend there was weed in your underwear drawer?”
“Well you see, my friend and I, we…”
Quick, Courtney think of plausible, non-incriminating explanation.
Aliens abducted my cell phone, and they are now texting my friends about marijuana- I’m just as shocked about this as you are.
No that’s stupid, aliens wouldn’t text about marijuana.
“We have a secret code,” I answered. “See, ‘the weed is in my underwear drawer” doesn’t actually mean that there’s weed in my underwear drawer.”
“Oh yeah? Then what’s it code for?”
“I can’t tell you, it’s a secret code.”
“Tell me or you’re grounded!”
“It’s code for, ‘my mom is the coolest mom ever!’”
“Tell me the truth or you’re grounded.”
“You really want to know what it’s code for?”
“Yes!”
“Fine Mom, ‘I hid the weed in my underwear drawer’ is actually code for, ‘I hid the heroin in my sock drawer.’”
In other news, I am now grounded.
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